Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Video: Asher Opening His Eyes a Little..


Asher is doing well tonight. His steroids are making his lungs much happier, and we hope to see improvement in his oxygen requirement sticking around after the 3 day course of steroids. He's 26 weeks today and on Thursday will be 3 weeks old! He will also be getting even more milk starting today and into tomorrow. He will get about 80ml in 24 hr which is about 2 1/2 ounces I think. This is a huge difference from the 1cc he started off getting! He will also have a fortifier added to his milk to bulk up the calorie content. He will have this from now on, and may still need it when he goes home. We are just thankful for every day.

I have to quote a few friends now who said some profound things to me this week. One sweet friend was encouraging me in motherhood and said "It is done, you are a mother! Rise up, and wear that badge of honor proudly!" I love the simple-yet powerful truth of this. We don't have to wait for Asher to come home for parenthood to begin. I reflected recently on how we could have never met Asher or Titus. We could have lost them at 19 weeks when my water broke. Instead, God blessed us with one baby boy we get to be parents to right now. It's different than most first parents experience, but it's our story. And every family's story has the beautiful mixed in with the messy at one point or another. Choosing to embrace that is the key. And that's not easy everyday, but I'm praying for more and more grace from the Lord to be able to embrace our story with gratitude and thankfulness instead of seeing it as not complete or not perfect! Our story is just the way the Lord planned, and as my husband says "any kid who starts out his life with this much prayer and love will have a significant life and story.." -- we can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for Asher's life and we feel humbled that the Lord chose this beginning for our son.

Another sweet friend shared Psalm 150:6 with me "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." She said "whether it's a deep breath, a breath assisted by a ventilator, or an unassisted breath, I praise the Lord for Asher breathing. Every breath."

Thank you for faithfully praying for Asher! We continue to feel so blessed by the love, support and messages we've received!
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2 comments:

  1. Sandy PottsFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:35 PM

    "They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not be weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 My addition to the verse from my own experience: And on the days that you can NOT walk, God will tenderly carry you. Sandy Potts (an old parent-type friend)

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  2. Jessica BarnardFebruary 22, 2012 at 7:17 PM

    I am from Evansville, IN and learned of your story last week from a friend. As I read through your blog, my heart broke for you and what your family is experiencing. It also brought back so many emotions as I gave birth to my twin girls on March 28, 2010 at 28 weeks. We also lost one of our girls after 72 days of life. I remember every detail of burying my child and the ups and downs of the three and half months we spent in the NICU with my other daughter and feeling that I was all alone. I know we don't know each other but I'm leaving my email (barnardswife@gmail.com) in case you feel like you want to contact me. You can read my story at www.barnardkids.blogspot.com
    Praying for you and your sweet family.

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