Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

First Bath with Mom

Today I helped with one of Asher's "baths" for the first time! It's pretty much a sponge bath for him at this point because a real one is too stimulating for him. It's a very slow process..and probably slower because I was doing it! His whole body is wrapped up and the nurse would just uncover one area at a time for me to wipe with a soapy cloth, then a wet one, then a dry one. It was a little nerve wracking wondering if he would tolerate it or not ..meaning would his oxygen level drop during it or his heart rate?? He did fine! He did make faces at us, so I know it wasn't his favorite thing to do..but he tolerated it well. And it was neat for me to see more of his tiny body and all the details. Each little part that I wiped was like a new discovery for me, just getting to take it all in..all the amazing parts that God formed perfectly! This was pretty special and I didn't really process that until later today. Wiping behind his tiny, paper thin ears was neat and also a little scary! They feel like they could so easily be torn with the wrong move. So tiny and so fragile, yet every day he's stronger and able to handle more. I even got to brush his hair! It was fun to be able to interact with him more, but it also just made me so ready for when I can give him a real bath, and just hold him like a real baby whose not in a plastic home all day hooked up to tons of wires with a very finicky breathing tube that if bumped makes his oxygen level drop! I know God wants me to be in the moment now though, and I'm praying for the grace to do that each day! I think I am and will be appreciating Asher and just all the little parts of him so much more than if this had not been my experience. Our bonding experience is much slower than a full term baby and mom, and some days that's hard and it seems God moves too slow with time, but this is our bonding story..and I'm learning to be thankful for that. I didn't get a picture of bathing him..but here's a recent one. He has a little iv burn on his head..poor guy, has one on his leg too, but it should heal and go away eventually. I look forward to more and more milestones of things we can do together!


  1. A former preemie mom continuing to pray for your sweet family, and so thankful that you are getting to share these special moments with Asher. It is so hard to be patient, but each new milestone is just that much more amazing! Who knew baths could be so nerve wracking! ;) I'm sure you did an amazing job!

  2. Hey Momma - All baths are nerve wracking! I'm so glad you got to give Asher a bath! Thinking of you! xoxoxo

  3. I'm Grammy to a 26 week, 2lb, 3oz miracle, and his journey was step by step just like your Asher's. I vividly remember the pictures of his first real bath (I'm 5 hours away so I wasn't there for it) and I remember my daughter in law's worries..would she do it right, would it be too much for him. As baby Will got a little stronger every day, she and my son did too, and gradually together, they are now almost to his 2 year birthday and he is sharp as a tack and doing amazing. He was in the NICU 3 months, 2 weeks short of his due date. He went home on oxygen, had terrible reflux and I won't say there weren't scary, challenging times, but God has walked every step of the way with us and given us a true miracle. Along the way Will "forgot" to breathe often enough that he had to be bagged several times, almost had to have surgery for his pda, but didn't, and many other things, all normal for his situation. Hang in there, it sounds like he is doing amazing. You will all get through this, and in a year you will be amazed at the new normal that is your little boy's life.

  4. Your little family comes to mind many times a day. I love the wisdom and strength in your writing that you attribute to the Lord so freely. What a wonderful mommy moment today. I'm very happy for you!