Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

"Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us Lord, our God, for we rely on You." 2 Chronicles 14:11

Well, we had a GREAT weekend..but the beginning of this week has been pretty hard. We had a hard conversation yesterday with the specialist. As we get closer to the boys being a viable age (they can survive outside the uterus), there are conversations we have to have and decisions to think about in event that baby A starts to not do well. We didn't expect to have this conversation and it just hit us hard Monday, and then today we had to talk about it all over again with the NICU doctor. Monday, I will be 23 weeks. Viablity is really past 23 weeks, closer to 24 but since we are almost there, we have to think about scenarios we'd rather not. In the middle of these conversations yesterday and today..my rather calm uterus has started contracting more regularly..probably stress induced. So yesterday and today I have had 2 shots both days to stop them. The medicine in the shot is not with out side effects. It makes my heart race, and I feel very anxious and jittery. I also started a prescription today, that after a few days of building up, should help calm the uterus so I don't need the shots all the time. So, it has not been a fun 2 days. We had gotten used to no significant contractions, and really nothing eventful at all happening. So, all of this was a quick reality check and reminder of Who we rely on, and what a delicate situation we are really in.

Baby A was not given a lot of hope yesterday and today. The NICU dr feels his future looks bleak regardless of how long he stays in since he has no fluid to help with lung development. She pretty much thinks he has little chance of survival either way. So, for weeks 23-25 we will be digging in deep with the Lord- because if baby A gets stressed and his heartbeat drops, we will have to decide whether to take them both out (causing a healthy baby B to suffer preemie side effects), or not take either out. They have to come together. Impossible decisions where neither is the one we want to choose. So, we need prayer that we DON'T have to make a hard decision, and if we do, God will guide us. Now, we know.. THIS is the type of area God works in and loves to show His power! We know that, we are praying for that. We are praying baby A is one they tell other parents "I have seen this before...". But it is just hard to keep hearing the worst case scenario..like swift kicks in the "gut" of your spirit. So, we are praying for an uneventful 2nd half of this week...and our same 3 prayers of NO labor, NO infections, and FLUID. And just TIME here..no matter what, bigger babies are just better and can handle more when they come out. And PEACE for our minds and spirits. When we get worried and anxious, it means we are trying to carry the burden ourselves, and that it's up to us and the doctors. That is just not the Truth God has taught us.

We thank you more than we can say for praying with us..especially for protection of our minds. Life is so fragile, and healthy babies growing inside mommy's are such a miracle- never before have we appreciated and understood this like now.

We prayed for these boys, we have lost 2 babies before them, and we aren't ready to loose either one now. We know God is good no matter what, and we continue to pray He will show His glory and goodness through their healthy arrival 28 weeks or after. In 1 Samuel, the mother Hannah, has a story much like ours. She is barren for years..and then she is pregnant. She says "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So, he will be given over to the Lord, for his whole life, he will be given over to the Lord."

Please pray that we remember this. Our boys are the Lord's- they always have been. He has planned their future. He has been in charge of every single day of their 22 1/2 weeks of existence. And God is still FOR us and NOT against us. His will is always GOOD.

9 comments:

  1. I am praying for y'all! Chris and I both... Thank you for sharing your heart during this time. Our hope is found in Christ alone... thank you for walking this.

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  2. Hi there Bryan and Robyn- We don't know each other, but we were introduced to your faith story by a dear nurse named Linda that is providing care to me each week. We are praying for all of you. I have been encouraged by your faith. And, the excerpt from Priscilla's book was exactly what I needed the day you posted it. Our story is very different than yours...but, we have several things in common including--a mighty God and bed rest :) Three years ago, our first child was born at 26 weeks after I was on strict bedrest for 6 weeks. She stayed in the NICU for 74 days before she came home. If we can be of any encouragement to you as you are flooded with information about what the next days, weeks, and months could hold...please let me know. We would be happy to just talk with you or share our daughter's blog with you. Nurse Linda has my phone number. Continuing to pray.

    Romans 8:37 says "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."

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  3. After I read your blog this morning, I read this in my Journey devotional and it reminded me of you as I prayed. "Child of God, you can't lose. Yes, you will experience pain and hardship in life, but your good God is bigger than all of it. Your God is so good that in His hands the pain and hurt will be grown into beauty and reward. Take heart. No matter what pain you're in the middle of right now, this is not the end of the story. One day you will be on the other side of it...Take heart, child of the King, your good God has overcome the world."
    I dont know what it feels like to be in your situation with the decisions you have to make, but I am praying for you and your babies daily. I trust God can do anything and we cannot lose if we are on His side.

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  4. I have so enjoyed reading your blog this morning and following your journey. My heart aches for what you have been through, but WOW...what strength God has given you. Your testimony will truly speak to others going through any type of struggle. We will continue to pray for you two and those precious boys. Thanks for sharing your story and your heart!!!

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  5. Thy will be done.

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  6. So proud of you Robyn! It's so evident that God has already been interceding and continues to do so. You are one of the strongest women I know!

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  7. The Lord is truly doing a mighty work in you and B's lives right now. I know it is a painful and long process that the lord has deemed you worthy to be put through but you are impacting more lives than you know even as we speak. Lindsay and I love you two so much.. And we are truly proud of you and the example that you set for us and other Christ followers in such a difficult time of hardship and hope. We will continue to pray for you, the medical staff and especially those precious boys.

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  8. Robyn & Bryan -
    I've prayed for your family daily and sometimes hourly. What an amazing example you both have set forth. There are so many of us on Team Adams fighting and praying for your family. We all love you so much and wish we could take some of your worry and pain away. with love and pray. The Jacks

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  9. Robyn - I am so glad that Kimberly forwarded your blog to me. I've been thinking and praying for you and the boys often. Miss our bible study together. Lori Hallford

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