"Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us Lord, our God, for we rely on You." 2 Chronicles 14:11

Well, we had a GREAT weekend..but the beginning of this week has been pretty hard. We had a hard conversation yesterday with the specialist. As we get closer to the boys being a viable age (they can survive outside the uterus), there are conversations we have to have and decisions to think about in event that baby A starts to not do well. We didn't expect to have this conversation and it just hit us hard Monday, and then today we had to talk about it all over again with the NICU doctor. Monday, I will be 23 weeks. Viablity is really past 23 weeks, closer to 24 but since we are almost there, we have to think about scenarios we'd rather not. In the middle of these conversations yesterday and today..my rather calm uterus has started contracting more regularly..probably stress induced. So yesterday and today I have had 2 shots both days to stop them. The medicine in the shot is not with out side effects. It makes my heart race, and I feel very anxious and jittery. I also started a prescription today, that after a few days of building up, should help calm the uterus so I don't need the shots all the time. So, it has not been a fun 2 days. We had gotten used to no significant contractions, and really nothing eventful at all happening. So, all of this was a quick reality check and reminder of Who we rely on, and what a delicate situation we are really in.

Baby A was not given a lot of hope yesterday and today. The NICU dr feels his future looks bleak regardless of how long he stays in since he has no fluid to help with lung development. She pretty much thinks he has little chance of survival either way. So, for weeks 23-25 we will be digging in deep with the Lord- because if baby A gets stressed and his heartbeat drops, we will have to decide whether to take them both out (causing a healthy baby B to suffer preemie side effects), or not take either out. They have to come together. Impossible decisions where neither is the one we want to choose. So, we need prayer that we DON'T have to make a hard decision, and if we do, God will guide us. Now, we know.. THIS is the type of area God works in and loves to show His power! We know that, we are praying for that. We are praying baby A is one they tell other parents "I have seen this before...". But it is just hard to keep hearing the worst case scenario..like swift kicks in the "gut" of your spirit. So, we are praying for an uneventful 2nd half of this week...and our same 3 prayers of NO labor, NO infections, and FLUID. And just TIME here..no matter what, bigger babies are just better and can handle more when they come out. And PEACE for our minds and spirits. When we get worried and anxious, it means we are trying to carry the burden ourselves, and that it's up to us and the doctors. That is just not the Truth God has taught us.

We thank you more than we can say for praying with us..especially for protection of our minds. Life is so fragile, and healthy babies growing inside mommy's are such a miracle- never before have we appreciated and understood this like now.

We prayed for these boys, we have lost 2 babies before them, and we aren't ready to loose either one now. We know God is good no matter what, and we continue to pray He will show His glory and goodness through their healthy arrival 28 weeks or after. In 1 Samuel, the mother Hannah, has a story much like ours. She is barren for years..and then she is pregnant. She says "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So, he will be given over to the Lord, for his whole life, he will be given over to the Lord."

Please pray that we remember this. Our boys are the Lord's- they always have been. He has planned their future. He has been in charge of every single day of their 22 1/2 weeks of existence. And God is still FOR us and NOT against us. His will is always GOOD.