Today was and is a milestone in our pregnancy journey. Today we would have been at 24 weeks. We had planned on telling the boys names today and just having a celebration to be at 24 weeks- a critical point in viability. God had other plans, but we are still celebrating today, every milestone, no matter how small is so significant now. Actually each new day that Asher is doing well is a milestone that we are thankful for!! So, we still want to share with anyone who has not heard the meaning behind the boys names'. Thankfully, we had just decided for sure in the last week what they would be called. We had not discussed it at all until about the 3rd week we were here, neither of us had been ready before that to discuss names..with the losses we've had, and being unsure at 19 weeks that we would make it farther...it had just been a sensitive topic.
Both Titus and Asher's names are from the bible. Titus was head of the church in Crete. Paul wrote letters to him instructing him on leading the church. In Titus 1:4, it says "to Titus, my true child in a common faith". And then 2 Corinthians 8:16 says "thanks be to God, who put into the heart of Titus the same earnest care I have for you". Titus represented a strong name to us and with what he had been through and was facing, he needed a strong name, and one that represents a lasting impact. We believe our little Titus has and will continue to fulfill that purpose of communicating God's love, and Truth..just like the Titus of the bible. His middle name comes from a little lighter meaning! We are fans of Jack Bauer in the tv series 24...and in every episode Jack Bauer saves the world and always finds himself in situations where you wonder just how he will get out, and he always does...he's a pretty hardcore guy! One of our best friends made this comment about our baby A after his water broke and he moved his position from head down to laying across my cervix. It was definitely a "Jack Bauer" move! And Titus was letting us know that no one was going anywhere! We know Titus will have a lasting legacy for his bravery, and his sacrifice for his younger, and littler brother. We are so proud to call him our son. We have and will continue to grieve not knowing him more, and watching him grow..but we know his life served purpose and that will comfort us on the hard days.
Asher in the bible is one of Jacob's sons. When he's born Leah says in Genesis 30:13 "Happy am I! For women have called me happy. So she called him name Asher." It also means blessed! We thought this was very fitting for our "baby B". And in Deuteronomy 33:24-25 it says "and of Asher he said, 'Most blessed of sons be Asher; let him be the favorite of his brothers, let him dip his foot in oil, Your bars shall be iron and bronze, and as your days, so shall your strength be.' " So, Asher not only means blessed but also there is a meaning of strength behind his name as well! His middle name, Mark, I knew a long time ago would be in my son's name...if I had a son. Mark 9:24 says "I do believe! Help me with my unbelief." This verse is so simple, yet says so much. In all the infertility struggles we had, we had to cling to this verse..sometimes as painful as that was. We had to constantly pray that we DID believe God's plan for our family, but at the same time, we needed His help in the times it was hard to believe. I love that Truth. God expects us to trust Him, but He also has compassion on us in telling us He knows that won't always be easy, and that's okay to express that it's not easy. So Mark 9:24 has an even BIGGER meaning to us today as we continue to trust God for the future of Asher's life. We DO believe God is big, able, and willing to bless us with a healthy son. BUT, there are days where that's harder to believe. And so, on Friday night..when we were told we need to rush to the NICU so we could say goodbye to our Asher, we were sitting and watching the nurses work on him and we were at a loss for words to even pray. Bryan prayed Romans 8:26 and just told God we didn't know how to pray, but we knew the Spirit would intercede. After a few minutes of just anxious silent prayers, I reached over and said to Bryan "we need to pray his middle name".
So, that is the story of our boys names'. Thank you for praying for our little boy, and for us and our hearts. We TRULY have been overwhelmed by the love and power of the church..meaning everyone who's lifting us up- church is not a building. It's a people, fighting for one another in prayer, by showing love, and by serving each other . That is all of you. And we are more than blessed by your the love of Christ that shines through you.
8 months ago