Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Why We Named Our Boys Titus and Asher

Today was and is a milestone in our pregnancy journey. Today we would have been at 24 weeks. We had planned on telling the boys names today and just having a celebration to be at 24 weeks- a critical point in viability. God had other plans, but we are still celebrating today, every milestone, no matter how small is so significant now. Actually each new day that Asher is doing well is a milestone that we are thankful for!! So, we still want to share with anyone who has not heard the meaning behind the boys names'. Thankfully, we had just decided for sure in the last week what they would be called. We had not discussed it at all until about the 3rd week we were here, neither of us had been ready before that to discuss names..with the losses we've had, and being unsure at 19 weeks that we would make it had just been a sensitive topic.

Both Titus and Asher's names are from the bible. Titus was head of the church in Crete. Paul wrote letters to him instructing him on leading the church. In Titus 1:4, it says "to Titus, my true child in a common faith". And then 2 Corinthians 8:16 says "thanks be to God, who put into the heart of Titus the same earnest care I have for you". Titus represented a strong name to us and with what he had been through and was facing, he needed a strong name, and one that represents a lasting impact. We believe our little Titus has and will continue to fulfill that purpose of communicating God's love, and Truth..just like the Titus of the bible. His middle name comes from a little lighter meaning! We are fans of Jack Bauer in the tv series 24...and in every episode Jack Bauer saves the world and always finds himself in situations where you wonder just how he will get out, and he always does...he's a pretty hardcore guy! One of our best friends made this comment about our baby A after his water broke and he moved his position from head down to laying across my cervix. It was definitely a "Jack Bauer" move! And Titus was letting us know that no one was going anywhere! We know Titus will have a lasting legacy for his bravery, and his sacrifice for his younger, and littler brother. We are so proud to call him our son. We have and will continue to grieve not knowing him more, and watching him grow..but we know his life served purpose and that will comfort us on the hard days.

Asher in the bible is one of Jacob's sons. When he's born Leah says in Genesis 30:13 "Happy am I! For women have called me happy. So she called him name Asher." It also means blessed! We thought this was very fitting for our "baby B". And in Deuteronomy 33:24-25 it says "and of Asher he said, 'Most blessed of sons be Asher; let him be the favorite of his brothers, let him dip his foot in oil, Your bars shall be iron and bronze, and as your days, so shall your strength be.' " So, Asher not only means blessed but also there is a meaning of strength behind his name as well! His middle name, Mark, I knew a long time ago would be in my son's name...if I had a son. Mark 9:24 says "I do believe! Help me with my unbelief." This verse is so simple, yet says so much. In all the infertility struggles we had, we had to cling to this verse..sometimes as painful as that was. We had to constantly pray that we DID believe God's plan for our family, but at the same time, we needed His help in the times it was hard to believe. I love that Truth. God expects us to trust Him, but He also has compassion on us in telling us He knows that won't always be easy, and that's okay to express that it's not easy. So Mark 9:24 has an even BIGGER meaning to us today as we continue to trust God for the future of Asher's life. We DO believe God is big, able, and willing to bless us with a healthy son. BUT, there are days where that's harder to believe. And so, on Friday night..when we were told we need to rush to the NICU so we could say goodbye to our Asher, we were sitting and watching the nurses work on him and we were at a loss for words to even pray. Bryan prayed Romans 8:26 and just told God we didn't know how to pray, but we knew the Spirit would intercede. After a few minutes of just anxious silent prayers, I reached over and said to Bryan "we need to pray his middle name".

So, that is the story of our boys names'. Thank you for praying for our little boy, and for us and our hearts. We TRULY have been overwhelmed by the love and power of the church..meaning everyone who's lifting us up- church is not a building. It's a people, fighting for one another in prayer, by showing love, and by serving each other . That is all of you. And we are more than blessed by your the love of Christ that shines through you.


  1. Thank you for sharing! You have no idea the far-reaching ministry you are doing for so many people! Our church is praying for you and your entire family! You are such a blessing to all of us!

  2. I'm a friend of Kelly Widener and have been following her updates! We have been praying tons for you!! Love this post, I think the meaning of a name is so important! The names you picked for your precious boys are incredible!! Praying constantly!

  3. I have since found 2 more Titus verses....

    1 Corinthians 7:6, 13

    "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus...And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus."

    Sweet verses I came across about a month after the boys were born.