Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

34 Weeks and Baby Brother has a NAME!

This weekend marked 34 weeks for us! I can't explain how surreal that seems. I really can't! What a sweet redeeming blessing this pregnancy has been. We have a date set for this little brother to arrive too, which is also VERY surreal to PICK a date for him to be born. I mean, really. So, we are praying September 18th will be the day we meet him.  That is a special day because it's Bryan's birthday and his mom's! 3 generations will celebrate life together! And, our very first baby, that we miscarried, was due around Bryan's birthday as well. I'll be 37 weeks and 5 days that day. Because of my permanent cerclage (stitch in cervix), my high risk doctor doesn't want me to go past 38 weeks. If I were to contract too much, there is a risk my uterus could rupture since the baby has no where to go with that stitch there. (And normally contractions move the baby down in preparation for birth.) That is pretty rare, but still a risk! So, we continue to hope and pray for a safe and healthy delivery of this little boy. 

We were so blessed to be able to take Family/Maternity pictures this time. There's two miracles right there! 

It's still hard to believe this is me! It's really amazing to watch these numbers get bigger and bigger! (And the tummy too) 

The name we picked for this little boy has a lot of meaning for us. We wanted something that stood for all he means to us, and all we hoped for this pregnancy. One of the sweetest things for us with Asher has been explaining his first and middle name to people. It immediately brings us back to God, and all He's done in Asher. And having children has not come easy to us. So, we have felt passionate about remembering what God has done in this process. Because I have already seen how as a hard season fades, and a more peaceful one settles in, that my heart can easily fall into feeling entitled to certain things. Certain things I didn't think possible, or couldn't even see on the horizon in those hard seasons. And I don't want to make a habit of forgetting how God has blessed us. So, our prayer is that in the names we picked for our sons, we will easily be reminded of what God has done, and therefore return to a spirit of perspective and thankfulness no matter what we are facing with them. 

I actually came across this name the summer we brought Asher home. I had the thought, "that could be a neat boy name one day"…and then I quickly dismissed it because I wasn't sure why I was thinking of that-- we had only just brought our little miracle baby home! And I probably was trying to "protect" myself a little because at that point I couldn't fathom getting to have another child.  When we found out this baby was a boy, I went searching again in the bible for it because I had forgotten it over the last 2 years. I was really excited when I found it again! 

So… baby brother's name is Shiloh Creed Adams. And here's why…

Shiloh is the name of a city found in the book of Joshua. It was the first place the Israelites set up their tabernacle and their government after the wilderness and crossing into the Promised Land. It means "peace" and "His gift." After the Israelites crossed into the Promised Land, they still had to fight battles as they made conquests for land. Shiloh was established after that, when they finally were in a time of peace. After years in the wilderness, and then many battles, this is where they were able to settle and establish themselves. It sounds like to me that here, they took a great big deep breath, and just allowed God's peace to settle over them. We are hoping the birth of this little boy allows us to do the same. The temple at Shiloh is where Hannah took her son Samuel to dedicate him, the son she pleaded with the Lord for for so long.  That's a story we also relate to so much.  Shiloh was the main center of the Israelite's worship and feasts for over 300 years. 

We identify with the wilderness story in many ways. In our journey through infertility, miscarriages, and losing Titus, we very much felt like we were in a wilderness. And then, after crossing into the Promised Land, there still were battles to fight for the Israelites. We felt the same way with Asher's Nicu stay, and the last 2 years at home with him. While God has healed him in so many ways, we still have battled and continue to battle through his eating and throwing up issues. 

So, our hope for this baby and our pregnancy has been that God would redeem our story of heartache with one of peace. And that is what the Lord has done so far. This means more to us than just a healthy pregnancy. To have a healthy pregnancy, but also to have a full-term, plump who wants to eat and has no physical reasons why that can't happen and be enjoyed….no surgeries...taking our newborn home in a few days instead of in 5 months……there just is so much to be redeemed and experienced for the first time. We don't "deserve" this because of what happened with Asher and Titus. It is not something we were promised. Having a full term healthy baby is soley a GIFT and an example of the grace of God. We are humbled and overjoyed that so far, Shiloh Creed is a BIG and healthy boy (he measured 6lbs last week) and that we have had an uneventful pregnancy! We are overwhelmed with how we've experienced God's love in this. And we did experienced His love in huge ways with our story of heartache too. It's just a blessing to experience it this way as well. 

Creed is Shiloh's middle name because of the Apostles Creed. It is the statement of our faith..and we loved the combination of the two names. This kid won't be able to get away from the faith of his parents! No matter what decisions he makes in life, it's going to be there, in his name. 

We are so thankful for the MANY prayers for this pregnancy and this little boy and if you feel led to continue to pray for him and a healthy birth in a little less than a month, now you can do so by using his name!