5 Months Old!

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths...I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16

Happy 5 Months to our sweet Asher! 

It was so exciting to take these pictures at home this month in Asher's crib! It's been surreal to have him at home a week now. We still look at him and say "he is really ours??" My life changed dramatically from driving to Dallas 2x a day to driving no where all day! It has been so nice to be around the house. We were getting so drained driving to Children's everyday. It's nice for Bryan to come home, and we eat dinner together at home, and then relax some! We've waited a loooong 5 months to do that! Asher still has difficulty eating. Sometimes he can take 1/2 of his bottle, other times he takes most of it, and then other times he takes hardly any at all. We put whatever is left down his tube either by gravity (just holding it up and letting it drop down) or with a pump we got from the hospital before we left. Sometimes feeding times are hard because he's often uncomfortable. Other than that, Asher is a sweet and sleepy boy most of the time! He is quite grumpy in the evenings, and doesn't want to fall asleep. But, I hear this is a baby thing. They all must have gotten together at some point and decided that evenings was a good time to give mom and dad a hard time. S.T.U.B.B.O.R.N. Not sure who he gets that from! 

We are so thankful for all the Lord has done in Asher! It is remarkable how He's healed this little boy. We were told over and over again before we left the hospital that it's amazing that he is not on oxygen, had no brain bleeds, has no ROP, and has no other major issues besides this random stricture. The nurse practitioner who checked us out when we left told us she couldn't think of another 23, 24, 25, or even 26 weeker who had done as well as Asher and she's been in nursing for 32 years! We know God acted on Asher's behalf because it was His will, and because He wants to make Himself known through our lives and Asher's. But we also know He hears the prayers of His children, and we KNOW so many prayers were sent up for Asher, and again...we are overwhelmed by the number of people who already love our little boy and ask about him, and still pray for his full healing! We will never forget the love we've been shown these past 5 months. A lot of times people want to keep their struggles private because they think it's easier, or they are embarrassed, or just don't want to deal with questions from people. I have to say, that being so open in this journey has blessed us immensely. Because we all have hard things in our lives, we all have moments of struggle, of doubting God, or questioning Him. Sharing this with, literally, the world has done more in my soul and Bryan's than anything else in our lives so far. We never want to do it all again, but we can look back and say we are thankful for all of it, and there are a lot of painful moments to look back on. When I think of my emotions shortly after coming home from the hospital and then throughout the last 5 months, it can bring tears to my eyes to remember the pain we've experienced. Why am I thankful for that? Well, for one...because I now know a deeper pain than ever before. And God has already put my knowledge about that to work. I can truly relate to others experiencing similar pain. And THAT is a blessing, and makes it worth it. To see "beauty come from ashes"..that is God's work. And where He works, there's always a beautiful picture as the result. And seeing it's beautiful is sometimes a choice we have to make. Asher is a big part of that beautiful picture for us. He is a perfectly formed baby boy. He's amazing- and my prayer is that every time we marvel at how cute he is, or how well he's doing, that we see God alone. Not "luck", not an advanced medical world who had the ability to save him, not something we did or created with our own power or strength, but God alone. 

I also want to start writing to Asher on here as well. I read my friends blog message to her kids yesterday and I love this idea! 

Asher you are a sweet boy. I love being able to stay home with you and hang out with you everyday. It's something I have been waiting to do for a long time. I just can't believe you are really our baby! We feel so blessed to be your mom and dad. You love to cuddle with mom and dad on our shoulders and you dig your head into our necks and under our chin. You usually fall asleep that way. But sometimes you hold your head straight up and look around! Your neck is getting so strong! When you are awake, you like for people to talk to you, and you like to focus on them. You are trying really hard to eat from your bottle right now, and sometimes it is easy and other times it hurts you. This makes us so sad to see you sad! But, hopefully the more the doctors work on your esophagus, the easier it will get. You always try at the beginning of eating to take from the bottle. We are so proud of you for always trying and giving it your best. We love you so much and we thank God for you everyday! Happy 5 month birthday!! 

 From 1 day old to 5 months old...wow! 

Sweet boy! 

First time in my crib!