Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A New Journey Begins- Baylor Hospital

I mentioned at the end of the last blog that Bryan and I had both prayed this New Years Eve prayers of desiring depth with the Lord. The following morning, I started feeling some intense back pain that would come and go. I mentioned this to one of my best friends, and she suggested I call the on-call nurse for the weekend. This was just 2 1/2 weeks ago... New Years Day. The nurse recommended a warm bath, and tylenol, and if nothing changed soon, then to just go ahead and go to the er. She said she'd rather me go, and it be nothing than not go at all. These wise words, from these two women turned out to be crucial in the lives of our boys.

We went to the er at my doctor's hospital- Baylor Grapevine. The er was doubt because the night before had been New Year's Eve! So, the nurse called up to labor and delivery to see if they could take me. They normally don't take pregnant women until they are at least 20 weeks. I was 19, but since I had twins, and they had room..they let me come up. The wait in the waiting room would have been 2 hours. By then, I would have had been experiencing full on labor with no intervention. We thank the Lord still for this gift in the beginning of what was about to unfold.

I was monitored for contractions and it was confirmed I was having them. This did not concern the nurse too much yet, as that can happen to a lot of women, and it's not always cause for concern. Then, someone was sent up to do a sono and check my cervix. She was a technician, and could not share what she found. In the mean time, my doctor was on the way. I can't remember if I was given the shot to stop contractions before or after the doctor saw my cervix. Once she examined me, we understood fully what was going on. I was in labor, my cervix was thin and open, and the doctor, just by looking could see Baby A's sack as it was being pushed further and further down. I was given a few shots to stop contractions. Then, I was taken to a different room..out of the trauma area, and into a sort of ICU room for labor and delivery where I would be monitored carefully. That night I was the only patient for my nurse. I had to lay back, with my head down in order to encourage gravity to help the sack move back up and away from the cervix. The plan was lay like this for a couple of days, until the doctor could put a stitch in my cervix to help it stay closed. Bryan and I were both in a little bit of shock, that's the only way I can describe that day and night.

The following morning, I still felt a little dull pain in my back. Suddenly- I felt a gush of fluid coming out of me. I knew that wasn't good..I didn't quite know it was fluid from baby A's sack. I just called Bryan over and he quickly got a nurse. This is when a real state of shock settled in..and it seemed time moved very slowly. A nurse confirmed with a test that my water had broken. We broke down. We thought that was it for the babies. Shortly after, a specialist came to sono me. He saw that both boys hearts were beating and they were still fine. He confirmed there was no fluid around Baby A, but B's was normal. He said my cervix had thickened a little because of the release of pressure. His outlook was bleak, and completely shocking. He discussed how we "probably didn't want to terminate because we had at least one healthy baby in there, and most people who do in-vitro don't want to terminate". I had very little words in this shocking moment to respond to this. Had I been on my game, and not traumatized...I'm sure my pregnancy hormones would have had a thing or two to say in response. :)

So, we just had to manage contractions, and see what happened in the next few days. I learned later that 75% of women who experience PROM (pre-mature rupture of membrane) deliver within 3-4 days of rupture (water breaking). Thankfully, the Lord blessed us in getting beyond that threshold. I took one more shot for contractions that day, and then I was on a prescription pill to also calm the uterus. That could only be taken for 3 days. I was also on 2 different antibiotics to help prevent any infection in the uterus since now Baby A was exposed and without his protective sack. I was allowed to sit up, thankfully, now that the pressure had been relieved off my cervix.

The next day, we had a sono again with the same specialist. He used the word "dumbfounded" to describe what he saw concerning my cervix. It was totally relaxed and back to a normal length! Praise the Lord! I love when God causes incredibly smart and experienced doctors to be surprised! So, the plan was to see how long I could avoid labor. This would be done by close monitoring of my vitals each day and my overall well being as well as 2 sonograms a week to check the boys and my cervix. I would be on full bed rest besides going to the bathroom and taking a 15 min shower a day. Our first goal was to get the boys to a viable age outside the uterus which is 23-24 weeks. He again, talked about us "being in this for the sake of Baby B" since a baby without fluid will have a harder time developing. Bryan quickly corrected Him that we are praying to take home 2 healthy baby boys at the end of this, and we believed God could and would do that for us.

Our newest "hard" season had begun..and it was way too close to the previous one in our minds. We had to battle a little with just being tired of "hard" and ready for easy, and we both at times had to throw a little fit at God wondering why we had to go through this. But, because of the faith He placed in us...we were quickly brought back in from those wandering thoughts and landed on solid thoughts and words from Him that were Truth. And those words of Truth are the ONLY thing that would lift, sustain, and carry not only our emotions, but the lives of our boys.

January 2, 2012 was the first day of this newest journey in our marriage where we had to purposefully choose to walk in faith every moment of every day that followed.

1 comment:

  1. I'm tearing up as I read this- yes, thinking about how scary that must have been for you and still is, but even more so because of the evidence of God's sovereignty over all of it (I mean a nurse having only one patient- really? Does that even happen anymore? Praise God!).