23 Weeks and 2 days

Today I am 23 weeks and 2 days pregnant with Asher's baby brother. That is a VERY significant milestone for us! We decided to take some pictures to celebrate. And who better to take them with than my little 23 week and 2 day miracle himself?!

This milestone is significant because I delivered Asher and his brother Titus at 23 weeks and 2 days. The "2 days" may not seem like it would matter…but it does. For a micro-preemie, every day, every hour and minute the baby spends still inside mom, matters.  A day or so can mean the difference between life and death. Our next big milestone we were hoping to make it to with Asher and Titus was 24 weeks. We never saw that milestone, not with both of them anyway. Asher was 1lb 2oz at birth, and Titus was 1lb 7oz.

Asher right after birth 

Sweet Titus 

Baby brother 3 weeks ago 

This baby boy is already bigger than Asher was at birth. That was very surreal to hear last week. Because I don't compare him to the vegetable and fruits that Babycenter does when I think of his size now. No, I know what anything past 1lb 2oz looks like. Because I've seen it. I've changed it's diaper. I've held it's tiny, red hand. It's extremely surreal to see these pictures of 2 of my baby boys and realize there is another baby boy inside me right now, who is the same size now they were when they were born, who has similar features, and who is currently kicking me as he tumbles about in his safe little space inside my womb. I haven't found a much better word for this lately than surreal. 

Most days I am really consumed with Asher….running after him with his water sippy cup, coming up with ideas of things to entertain him for feeding times, or thinking about how much food he did or didn't get that day that I don't think often enough about how thankful I am for this this baby brother and an uneventful pregnancy so far. If I really stop and think about it, it's pretty overwhelming. 

I know it's pretty "normal" for most women to be 23 weeks pregnant. That's probably not a significant week for most. But it is for us. From here on out, every week is a new week we have never experienced before in pregnancy. Every week from here on out is one to celebrate. And we really will be celebrating if we get well into the 30's! That is truly hard to imagine. I would love to know the side of pregnancy that is "so uncomfortable"-- in fact, I'm praying for that. Because that would mean this baby boy would be on his way to entering into this world with only the initial shock of being a little cold for moment, and the lights being a little too bright. Instead of experiencing the shock of having an extremely immature sensory system that literally can't handle a bright light, or temperatures that are too cold ---those things can mean a drop in breathing and heart rate and babies born this soon don't always recover from that. Then there are wires stuck with tape all over this delicate, thin skin that was never meant to be touched at this point in time. And let's not forget iv's, a breathing tube, and a feeding tube put down a very tiny throat. And then there's surviving and recovering from procedures and surgeries... including needing a chest tube at 1 day old and heart surgery at 5 weeks old, weighing just 1lb 9oz at the time of surgery. Those things were lifesavers, but they were traumatizing to Asher's fragile body. He had to deal with being outside of me way too early, and all those extra things he was never meant to experience.  

By the grace of God, this baby brother will not know those things when he's born. He'll know warmth, his parents touch and voices, being fed and being cuddled. Period. Please Lord. Let that be your will. Amen.