Journey to Parenthood

I want to be purposeful about journaling during this time in our lives as we watch our miracle micro preemie, Asher, continue to grow and thrive. I began this blog during my month of bed rest at the hospital while I was pregnant with Asher and his brother Titus. We continue to hope and trust the Lord for Asher's future. This blog begins with the story of how both of our boys came to be. They came about after many tears, many prayers, and many months of crushed hopes. On February 2, 2012, our boys Titus Bauer and Asher Mark were born at just 23 weeks and 2 days gestation. My water around Titus broke at 19 weeks, so his lungs were very underdeveloped. Titus lived 45 minutes and is now living a perfect life in heaven as he watches over his little brother Asher. Two and a half years later God redeemed our story of hurt with a precious full term baby brother for Asher. We are humbled by how the Lord has loved on us in our journey through parenthood.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Full Heart

Wow! October to January flew by!! It's a much harder task now to blog with one crazy toddler running around! I would say my heart has been full these last few months. Our sweet miracle boy gets better every day. It is a blessing to watch him make more and more connections. Whether that's in copying words he's hearing, or following commands to show comprehension, or not following commands because he's showing his ornery side! Every new thing he does is a blessing to us. I have many moments where I watch him crawl up on something or stand on a way too small box and balance himself without falling, and I am amazed, again, that he is so healthy and active, and his brain has made connections for him to be able to do all those things.

It is healing to my soul to watch him crawl up on the couch and run laps back and forth on it. (Something I previously told myself I would not allow, but in the end, I have lost that battle for now, and am honestly just so thankful he can do that!) It is healing to see him run down the sidewalk, picking up sticks and leaves and babbling to me all about them. It is healing to hear him say my name. And what I mean by healing is just that all the hurt we have experienced, and all the hard things Asher has had to endure from being so premature (surgeries, procedures, severe feeding issues/vomiting) have begun to hurt less as time goes on. As he learns more and grows more, those painful things grow dimmer in our minds. They are not forgotten,  and we don't want that . We are just enjoying the peace that comes with those traumatic experiences being further back in the filing cabinet, where they are not staring us in the face anymore.

Saying my name just started in the last few weeks where he will say it ALL the time. In the summer he said "mom" a few times but I don't think it meant much to him. And it was really funny he said mom before mama or mommy! Preemies. They don't do things in the typical order. So now he says mama and mommy ALL DAY LONG. And yes, it can grate on my nerves when it's coupled with whining. But it's mostly just awesome to hear my name and see him coming at me with his arms in the air waiting for me to hold him. A sweet friend told me when he turned one that she was excited for me for the next year and all he would do and learn. And one thing she mentioned was, this will be the year he calls you by name. I remember crying at reading that and feeling very cautious about hoping for that...not knowing what was in store for his development. We still don't fully know that. But what a sweet thing that has been to hear. Especially from my miracle boy.

In November, Asher got his first cold and first stomach virus! The cold came first and a few weeks later the virus snuck in! Not fun! He had wheezing with the cold and needed breathing treatments 2x a day and thankfully that was enough. The virus was rough. I've never seen him act so sad and weak. During his cold he still ran around like crazy and never skipped a beat! But this, it took him down. We felt awful for him. And we felt thankful for that darn feeding tube because that made it super easy to keep him hydrated, and also we could give him some puree's that he didn't feel like eating. One thing about this virus made him feel truly hungry and thirsty for the first time in a long time. The day after he got it he packed away about half of Bryan's pancake and did so with authority and no gagging! We were beside ourselves! He also drank a lot! At one sitting he drank 6 oz of water. That volume was a LOT for him. He'd never done that before and hasn't done it since! But, it showed us he could do those things, that he had the skills to. So, in the weeks that followed he really started trying more and more table food and did really well! (Until the next cold, of

At dr's 

Celebrating eating that pancake! 

We had a nice holiday season. Thanksgiving was an adventure! We went on our first road trip with Asher to see Bryan's sister's family. And Asher had never stayed anywhere but his Gammer's house. It was just one of those "firsts". And it was great and Asher loved hanging out with his cousins, and their dog. We can't say the dog returned his affection! We also had family pictures done which was so nice!!

And we're off 

Dig Dig

Playing with Carter

Playing with Foxy


He had a lot to say to Carter

Whatever it takes to make the nap last! (We have some of those window shades but they were not cutting it!)

Asher had a great Christmas too! He loved opening presents and playing with his new toys! It was a sweet holiday season for us. We loved that he was so much more aware this year of what was going on. He loved the boxes and wrapping paper almost as much as the toys! 

Last year to this year 

Love this picture...especially that my brother is standing with us after 2 years in a wheelchair! 

Aunt Mary (Mimi)

Cousin Brianna

Cousin Braden

We went out to eat as a family on New Years Eve. It was a special treat because we haven't been taking him out to eat really at all during the cold season. We went early to avoid the crowd. It was so special to me just to be out together like that! Seriously- filled my heart so much!! Love our little family!! 

He thought the ceiling was SO interesting! He doesn't get out much!! 

We celebrated a bit early. :) 

Happy New Years! 

The last year for us as a family!!  So many special memories we are grateful for! 

I can't believe we are a few weeks away from Asher turning 2!! I will be writing about that for sure and sharing more details about Asher's progress in the last year and our hearts on celebrating his 2nd birthday. It's a joyous day, but also a little hard as it will always be the day we lost his brother Titus as well. But God is good in it all. We have MORE than enough to be thankful for in all God's done in the last 2 years!! 

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